A few weeks ago Booger was admitted to the hospital. He was sick, sick, sick, and I was so scared, but all turned out well, and I think he's no worse for the wear.
But here's the thing that I've been thinking: thank goodness I'm in the Attachment Parenting (AP) camp! I was able to keep his world as normal as possible, because we just kept doing our same old thing.
We didn't need to worry with cleaning bottles or using different formula - he had my boobs, and he was one happy camper!
He didn't notice that he was in a different place, sleeping in a strange crib in a scary room - he had me right there with him, sleeping beside him, just like always. (Yes, you read that right: I slept in the crib! Oh, what we do for our children!)
Because our bond is so strong, and he feels so safe and loved and secure, I was able to make it easier on him - he could just relax in my arms and be okay with the world.
I am so glad that I could give him this gift - that I could be there for him at the hospital, because I'd been there for him before the hospital. Because he's attached to me, and not to a routine or a bottle or a crib, he was okay. I'm portable (and apparently I fit pretty well in a crib)!
Anyway, it made me feel good that I was able to keep so much of his life normal, even in that not-normal situation. I felt like I was protecting him somehow. Maybe sheltering him from how scary everything was. It validated a lot of the decisions that I've made over the past year - not that I spend any time at all doubting myself - but it's just nice to have the chance to step back and realize that you're not ruining your kid!
And one other "gift" I got from our time in the hospital is this: the realization that I honestly have no regrets. I could look back over the past year and know that every single day I woke up (more often than not at a painfully early hour) and put my whole heart into being the best mom I could possibly be. And every single day I've felt humbled by the fact that God chose me to be the mom of such a perfect angel! I have honestly not taken a single day for granted. And that means a lot! Faced with the prospect of loosing him, I can honestly say that I gave my all, lived every moment, and treasured every single smile - I must be doing something right, right? I think so!!
Love covers over a multitude of sins, the Bible says - so if I love him this much, and try this hard to make the most out of every moment, then I can feel pretty confident that I'm on the right track! It's nice to have a moment when God makes you step back and look at the big picture. The big picture looks pretty good, even if the individual brush strokes feel messy and jumbled and helter-skelter most of the time!
So happy parenting, everyone! I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am!! :-)
Saturday, February 14, 2009
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