A few weeks ago Booger was admitted to the hospital. He was sick, sick, sick, and I was so scared, but all turned out well, and I think he's no worse for the wear.
But here's the thing that I've been thinking: thank goodness I'm in the Attachment Parenting (AP) camp! I was able to keep his world as normal as possible, because we just kept doing our same old thing.
We didn't need to worry with cleaning bottles or using different formula - he had my boobs, and he was one happy camper!
He didn't notice that he was in a different place, sleeping in a strange crib in a scary room - he had me right there with him, sleeping beside him, just like always. (Yes, you read that right: I slept in the crib! Oh, what we do for our children!)
Because our bond is so strong, and he feels so safe and loved and secure, I was able to make it easier on him - he could just relax in my arms and be okay with the world.
I am so glad that I could give him this gift - that I could be there for him at the hospital, because I'd been there for him before the hospital. Because he's attached to me, and not to a routine or a bottle or a crib, he was okay. I'm portable (and apparently I fit pretty well in a crib)!
Anyway, it made me feel good that I was able to keep so much of his life normal, even in that not-normal situation. I felt like I was protecting him somehow. Maybe sheltering him from how scary everything was. It validated a lot of the decisions that I've made over the past year - not that I spend any time at all doubting myself - but it's just nice to have the chance to step back and realize that you're not ruining your kid!
And one other "gift" I got from our time in the hospital is this: the realization that I honestly have no regrets. I could look back over the past year and know that every single day I woke up (more often than not at a painfully early hour) and put my whole heart into being the best mom I could possibly be. And every single day I've felt humbled by the fact that God chose me to be the mom of such a perfect angel! I have honestly not taken a single day for granted. And that means a lot! Faced with the prospect of loosing him, I can honestly say that I gave my all, lived every moment, and treasured every single smile - I must be doing something right, right? I think so!!
Love covers over a multitude of sins, the Bible says - so if I love him this much, and try this hard to make the most out of every moment, then I can feel pretty confident that I'm on the right track! It's nice to have a moment when God makes you step back and look at the big picture. The big picture looks pretty good, even if the individual brush strokes feel messy and jumbled and helter-skelter most of the time!
So happy parenting, everyone! I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am!! :-)
Showing posts with label Natural Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Natural Living. Show all posts
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, May 9, 2008
Breast is Best, But...
Okay, so here's another side to our trip to the pediatrician this morning: they gave me formula! It came in a (get this!) "breastfeeding support package". They give it out to all the moms who breastfeed. It's put out by Enfamil, and it comes with some brochures, a few Lanisoh breast pads, some DHA vitamins for pregnant & lactating moms, and two sample boxes of formula. Is anyone else confused?!?
First of all, it's hard enough to breasfeed in today's hectic society. Then add to that the constant message that you won't be able to exclusively breastfeed (I mean no one exclusively breastfeeds! Apparently our bodies just weren't made to feed our babies without outside help. After all, formula has been around for almost a century, so it must be vital to the survival of the human race!!).
Second of all, let's reason out the logic of this: Medical science has proven over and over that breastmilk is medically superior to formula. Breastmilk makes healthier, smarter babies. So what do the medical doctors do? They find out you're breastfeeding and give you formula. Not "congratulations on making the choice that is clearly healthier for you and your child" (no one can argue against the fact that breastmilk is better, which makes this whole thing more bizarre). Instead, they're saying, "I see you've made the healthier choice - but here's a free start on the second-best choice, just in case". Just in case what? I don't get it! And I don't see anyone going around saying "Oh, you've chosen to bottle feed? Here's some sample breastmilk, just in case..." (Hey! I've just found the perfect use for my 200 extra ounces of frozen milk!! Lol...)
The nurse also mentioned in passing that they don't see many breastfed babies. The overwhelming majority are formula fed. That really surprised me! It just seems so common-sense to breast feed. It's your body's natural progression, from menstruating and ovulating, to pregnancy, to labor, to lactating... Not doing it is the harder thing!
Yes, breastfeeding is hard, and (okay, I'll say it!) miserable in the beginning. Thank God for my midwife, my mom, and my husband, because I would've given up a hundred times over during those first weeks! And yes, pumping at work is awful. It's inconvenient and stressful. And yes, there are even (very short, fleeting) moments when I wish I could just have AJ feed him a bottle so I don't have to completely stop whatever it is that I'm doing (but it's always a bottle of expressed breastmilk in my mind - I never wish for formula).
So I understand why people switch to formula, especially with the amazing marketing that the industry is doing. They're preaching, "Breast is Best, But We're Just as Good", and pediatricians are bribed to keep their mouths shut, and it's politically incorrect to state the fact that breastfeeding is better (but it's quite alright to ask why someone has chosen to breastfeed, as if we need to justify it!). Add to that all the hardship of the first few weeks, and it's no wonder! It just makes me sad that there's so much misinformation, and women aren't as proactive as they need to be. They just take what everyone else tells them as the gospel truth - never mind their instincts - if the doctor said it, it must be true - and they're selling themselves and their kids short!
I want to tell women about the choices out there and that all of these natural choices - natural birth, breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing - are just as valid, and perhaps more so, because they reaffirm our mothering instincts instead of make us doubt ourselves!. I just want to tell everyone how easy it is to mother this way!! It's so, so EASY! Just relax, trust your instincts, never-mind the doctor, go with the flow, do what's best for your kid, and enjoy it! Enjoy it! Mothering really can be fun!
First of all, it's hard enough to breasfeed in today's hectic society. Then add to that the constant message that you won't be able to exclusively breastfeed (I mean no one exclusively breastfeeds! Apparently our bodies just weren't made to feed our babies without outside help. After all, formula has been around for almost a century, so it must be vital to the survival of the human race!!).
Second of all, let's reason out the logic of this: Medical science has proven over and over that breastmilk is medically superior to formula. Breastmilk makes healthier, smarter babies. So what do the medical doctors do? They find out you're breastfeeding and give you formula. Not "congratulations on making the choice that is clearly healthier for you and your child" (no one can argue against the fact that breastmilk is better, which makes this whole thing more bizarre). Instead, they're saying, "I see you've made the healthier choice - but here's a free start on the second-best choice, just in case". Just in case what? I don't get it! And I don't see anyone going around saying "Oh, you've chosen to bottle feed? Here's some sample breastmilk, just in case..." (Hey! I've just found the perfect use for my 200 extra ounces of frozen milk!! Lol...)
The nurse also mentioned in passing that they don't see many breastfed babies. The overwhelming majority are formula fed. That really surprised me! It just seems so common-sense to breast feed. It's your body's natural progression, from menstruating and ovulating, to pregnancy, to labor, to lactating... Not doing it is the harder thing!
Yes, breastfeeding is hard, and (okay, I'll say it!) miserable in the beginning. Thank God for my midwife, my mom, and my husband, because I would've given up a hundred times over during those first weeks! And yes, pumping at work is awful. It's inconvenient and stressful. And yes, there are even (very short, fleeting) moments when I wish I could just have AJ feed him a bottle so I don't have to completely stop whatever it is that I'm doing (but it's always a bottle of expressed breastmilk in my mind - I never wish for formula).
So I understand why people switch to formula, especially with the amazing marketing that the industry is doing. They're preaching, "Breast is Best, But We're Just as Good", and pediatricians are bribed to keep their mouths shut, and it's politically incorrect to state the fact that breastfeeding is better (but it's quite alright to ask why someone has chosen to breastfeed, as if we need to justify it!). Add to that all the hardship of the first few weeks, and it's no wonder! It just makes me sad that there's so much misinformation, and women aren't as proactive as they need to be. They just take what everyone else tells them as the gospel truth - never mind their instincts - if the doctor said it, it must be true - and they're selling themselves and their kids short!
I want to tell women about the choices out there and that all of these natural choices - natural birth, breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing - are just as valid, and perhaps more so, because they reaffirm our mothering instincts instead of make us doubt ourselves!. I just want to tell everyone how easy it is to mother this way!! It's so, so EASY! Just relax, trust your instincts, never-mind the doctor, go with the flow, do what's best for your kid, and enjoy it! Enjoy it! Mothering really can be fun!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
New Diapers!
I just wanted to say that our new diaper covers came in!!!! I am so, so, so, so, SO excited!!
They're fleece wraps from Wollypop, and they are the world's BEST covers. They fit him so good, and they're so easy to put on, and they let his skin breath, and they don't leak all over everything. I ordered eight - yes, 8! - because I absolutely hate cloth diapering without good covers. We went through about two weeks or so where he'd outgrown the smaller fleece covers, and the medium plastic covers we have just didn't fit well - he pooped right out the leg hole 3 different times (Once at a funeral! All over me, and all over the floor! If it wasn't my family, I would've been so embarrassed!). They fit better now that he's gotten bigger, but we still didn't have enough. It always seemed like such a struggle to find covers, but now (thank goodness!) we have plenty!
You all are my witnesses - I vow to order early - no waiting until the last minute to order a size up! He's in mediums now, and it's my mission in life to start collecting large diapers and covers, so we won't go through this rocky transition where we don't have what we need!
The only thing we need now are more prefolds (the square diapers that a bunch of people use as burp cloths these days) - they're my favorite way to cloth diaper (besides hemp, which is so expensive!), and we always seem to run out. Not to mention that he really needs a bigger size prefold now, too...
And a word to the wise about microfleece inserts: my mom and I found that they sell the exact same things packaged as automotive cleaning rags. They come in packs of eight for $4, which is so cheap! And the neon colors are so cool!
They're fleece wraps from Wollypop, and they are the world's BEST covers. They fit him so good, and they're so easy to put on, and they let his skin breath, and they don't leak all over everything. I ordered eight - yes, 8! - because I absolutely hate cloth diapering without good covers. We went through about two weeks or so where he'd outgrown the smaller fleece covers, and the medium plastic covers we have just didn't fit well - he pooped right out the leg hole 3 different times (Once at a funeral! All over me, and all over the floor! If it wasn't my family, I would've been so embarrassed!). They fit better now that he's gotten bigger, but we still didn't have enough. It always seemed like such a struggle to find covers, but now (thank goodness!) we have plenty!
You all are my witnesses - I vow to order early - no waiting until the last minute to order a size up! He's in mediums now, and it's my mission in life to start collecting large diapers and covers, so we won't go through this rocky transition where we don't have what we need!
The only thing we need now are more prefolds (the square diapers that a bunch of people use as burp cloths these days) - they're my favorite way to cloth diaper (besides hemp, which is so expensive!), and we always seem to run out. Not to mention that he really needs a bigger size prefold now, too...
And a word to the wise about microfleece inserts: my mom and I found that they sell the exact same things packaged as automotive cleaning rags. They come in packs of eight for $4, which is so cheap! And the neon colors are so cool!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A Few Thoughts On Birth
Just a few thoughts about the birth:
First, I've noticed that patients at work (I work at a physical therapy office) seem to forget whether I had a girl or a boy, but they always remember that I had him at home. It's so funny!
Second- that reminds me of the intake girl at Wake Med when we went to get the ultrasound for Jeremiah's hips (something that stupid first pediatrician wanted to do because he was breech - everything was fine, of course, and now I'm just waiting for my bill!). She asked if he'd ever been to Wake Med before, and I said no. So she asked where he was born. When I answered "at home" she nodded and typed on her keyboard for a few seconds, then stopped and turned to me and said "At home?!" I answered yes, and she nodded and turned back to her computer. Then she stopped and looked at me again and gasped, "Why?!" I just smiled and said that I wanted it that way. She nodded again, turned back to her computer, then turned to me again and asked, "Alone?" No, I answered, I had a midwife. She just couldn't believe it. One of her coworkers walked by, and she stopped them to say, "She had her baby at home!" It was fun because she was genuinely interested, and not like those people who seem to insult you with their questions (like when they ask "why" with that tone... You know the tone - the one that implies I acted recklessly with my baby's life or something).
Third - Another side note about our whole Wake Med adventure: the tech was asking questions before the ultrasound, and the conversation went something like this: "was he breech the whole time?" My answer: "I guess so" (how am I supposed to know?) So she said, "So he was born cesarean?" (Like it was a forgone conclusion). "No - not so much. It was all vaginal" I said. She just gave me this blank look, like she didn't know if I was joking or not. It was fun, walking into Wake Med with a baby that no one knew what to do with! :-)
Forth - I was filling out profiles for some homebirth sites online, and it occurred to me that it wasn't just a breech birth - it was also a water birth. And in some ways, that's more important than the breech part. For one, the breech birth was a circumstance that happened to me - the water birth was something that I set up in advance. It says a lot about my choices, and about me as a person. It speaks more to my character. This was the first week I really started to refer to it as a water birth that happened to be breech, instead of a breech birth that happened to be in the water. It's a small but important shift, I think.
Fifth - I can't wait to do it again, God willing! I wonder what it will be like to have "normal" contractions, and to push a baby out head-first. It'll be another water birth at home, of course (if all goes well with the pregnancy). The thing I keep picturing is bringing a healthy, breathing, newly born baby up to my chest and having her (it's always a girl in this fantasy) stare into my eyes. Maybe she cries, and maybe she doesn't. AJ's in the pool behind me, his arms embracing me as I embrace our new daughter. Maybe Jeremiah's asleep on the bed, or peering over from the edge of the pool. Maybe the new baby latches on right away and sucks, or maybe she takes her time. Either way, I hold onto that moment in my mind, that moment that I didn't have with Jeremiah. It took him so long to breath on his own, and then he was just so bruised and didn't latch on for a day or so. I'm definitely not complaining, and I am not disappointed in the least (I think about what it would've been like in the hospital - he would've spent the first twenty-four hours of his life in the NICU, without me at all!!). I'm so grateful for our midwife, because she made those first moments special, even if it wasn't what we were expecting. I was still able to hold him while they worked on him to get him to breath; AJ was still able to say it was a boy, and still able to cut the cord; and she asked our permission when she took him over to the table to work on him, which really made me feel like his mother, and not like just a co-patient or bystander. So please, don't think I was disappointed in the least by Jeremiah's first minutes - nothing could have been more perfect. All of that being said, however, I still wonder what it would be like to give birth to a baby that breathed on her own, one that I could hold and admire and cuddle and just let our love unfold like a perfect, unhurried dream. Hopefully we'll get a chance to find out someday!
First, I've noticed that patients at work (I work at a physical therapy office) seem to forget whether I had a girl or a boy, but they always remember that I had him at home. It's so funny!
Second- that reminds me of the intake girl at Wake Med when we went to get the ultrasound for Jeremiah's hips (something that stupid first pediatrician wanted to do because he was breech - everything was fine, of course, and now I'm just waiting for my bill!). She asked if he'd ever been to Wake Med before, and I said no. So she asked where he was born. When I answered "at home" she nodded and typed on her keyboard for a few seconds, then stopped and turned to me and said "At home?!" I answered yes, and she nodded and turned back to her computer. Then she stopped and looked at me again and gasped, "Why?!" I just smiled and said that I wanted it that way. She nodded again, turned back to her computer, then turned to me again and asked, "Alone?" No, I answered, I had a midwife. She just couldn't believe it. One of her coworkers walked by, and she stopped them to say, "She had her baby at home!" It was fun because she was genuinely interested, and not like those people who seem to insult you with their questions (like when they ask "why" with that tone... You know the tone - the one that implies I acted recklessly with my baby's life or something).
Third - Another side note about our whole Wake Med adventure: the tech was asking questions before the ultrasound, and the conversation went something like this: "was he breech the whole time?" My answer: "I guess so" (how am I supposed to know?) So she said, "So he was born cesarean?" (Like it was a forgone conclusion). "No - not so much. It was all vaginal" I said. She just gave me this blank look, like she didn't know if I was joking or not. It was fun, walking into Wake Med with a baby that no one knew what to do with! :-)
Forth - I was filling out profiles for some homebirth sites online, and it occurred to me that it wasn't just a breech birth - it was also a water birth. And in some ways, that's more important than the breech part. For one, the breech birth was a circumstance that happened to me - the water birth was something that I set up in advance. It says a lot about my choices, and about me as a person. It speaks more to my character. This was the first week I really started to refer to it as a water birth that happened to be breech, instead of a breech birth that happened to be in the water. It's a small but important shift, I think.
Fifth - I can't wait to do it again, God willing! I wonder what it will be like to have "normal" contractions, and to push a baby out head-first. It'll be another water birth at home, of course (if all goes well with the pregnancy). The thing I keep picturing is bringing a healthy, breathing, newly born baby up to my chest and having her (it's always a girl in this fantasy) stare into my eyes. Maybe she cries, and maybe she doesn't. AJ's in the pool behind me, his arms embracing me as I embrace our new daughter. Maybe Jeremiah's asleep on the bed, or peering over from the edge of the pool. Maybe the new baby latches on right away and sucks, or maybe she takes her time. Either way, I hold onto that moment in my mind, that moment that I didn't have with Jeremiah. It took him so long to breath on his own, and then he was just so bruised and didn't latch on for a day or so. I'm definitely not complaining, and I am not disappointed in the least (I think about what it would've been like in the hospital - he would've spent the first twenty-four hours of his life in the NICU, without me at all!!). I'm so grateful for our midwife, because she made those first moments special, even if it wasn't what we were expecting. I was still able to hold him while they worked on him to get him to breath; AJ was still able to say it was a boy, and still able to cut the cord; and she asked our permission when she took him over to the table to work on him, which really made me feel like his mother, and not like just a co-patient or bystander. So please, don't think I was disappointed in the least by Jeremiah's first minutes - nothing could have been more perfect. All of that being said, however, I still wonder what it would be like to give birth to a baby that breathed on her own, one that I could hold and admire and cuddle and just let our love unfold like a perfect, unhurried dream. Hopefully we'll get a chance to find out someday!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Oops! I didn't have their permission! :-)
Okay - so I didn't know any better :-)
I was looking through some of my favorite sites to put together a list of links and I came across this article on the breech birth site. I think it's so, so funny, because I didn't meet ANY of the criteria for a "safe" breech birth! What does the American College of OBGYNs know anyway? :-)
Here's the article:
"If an expectant couple were to insist on the academic position and want to try for a vaginal breech delivery, however, I feel obligated to consider it, because it is legitimate. But this consideration would be undertaken only if the criteria of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists are met:
1) An ultrasound as labor begins to make sure the baby is "frank" breech--not complete or footling (incomplete). Only a frank breech (the most common type in which the hips are flexed but the knees are straight,jack knifing the baby so that the buttocks deliver first) may deliver from below. In the other types, one or two feet and legs are in the way, which will jam up while trying to negotiate the pelvic pathway out.
2) An estimated fetal weight of no more than 3800 grams(about 8 pounds), which can be determined by the ultrasound.
3) X-ray pelvimetry to get actual bone measurements of the pelvis and compare them to the dimensions of the baby's head. If it's close, this delivery is better handled via a C-section. If there's a generous difference in the pelvis's favor, it's doable.
4) A proven pelvis. That is, this can't be a first delivery. The expectant mother has to have had a baby before, vaginally, and of term size, indicating that this is a pelvis that can come through (no pun intended)."
My baby wasn't the "right" kind of breech - he was footling: his big ole feet came out first! And he was *only* TWO POUNDS over the "safe" weight limit. And my poor little pelvis wasn't "proven" yet, because he was my first (I think it did pretty good, though!)
Let me also put in a word for my midwife: her experience and skill level is ten times what an OB has with normal, natural birth - especially a breech birth! If I had to do it all over again (and I hope to get the chance soon - hopefully head-first next time!), I'd gladly choose to put my life and the life of my baby in her hands, with full confidence. Homebirths are SAFE - and more than that, they're FUN!!
(The above article can be found at: http://www.gynob.com/breechvag.htm, called "The Best Way To Deliver A Breech Baby")
I was looking through some of my favorite sites to put together a list of links and I came across this article on the breech birth site. I think it's so, so funny, because I didn't meet ANY of the criteria for a "safe" breech birth! What does the American College of OBGYNs know anyway? :-)
Here's the article:
"If an expectant couple were to insist on the academic position and want to try for a vaginal breech delivery, however, I feel obligated to consider it, because it is legitimate. But this consideration would be undertaken only if the criteria of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists are met:
1) An ultrasound as labor begins to make sure the baby is "frank" breech--not complete or footling (incomplete). Only a frank breech (the most common type in which the hips are flexed but the knees are straight,jack knifing the baby so that the buttocks deliver first) may deliver from below. In the other types, one or two feet and legs are in the way, which will jam up while trying to negotiate the pelvic pathway out.
2) An estimated fetal weight of no more than 3800 grams(about 8 pounds), which can be determined by the ultrasound.
3) X-ray pelvimetry to get actual bone measurements of the pelvis and compare them to the dimensions of the baby's head. If it's close, this delivery is better handled via a C-section. If there's a generous difference in the pelvis's favor, it's doable.
4) A proven pelvis. That is, this can't be a first delivery. The expectant mother has to have had a baby before, vaginally, and of term size, indicating that this is a pelvis that can come through (no pun intended)."
My baby wasn't the "right" kind of breech - he was footling: his big ole feet came out first! And he was *only* TWO POUNDS over the "safe" weight limit. And my poor little pelvis wasn't "proven" yet, because he was my first (I think it did pretty good, though!)
Let me also put in a word for my midwife: her experience and skill level is ten times what an OB has with normal, natural birth - especially a breech birth! If I had to do it all over again (and I hope to get the chance soon - hopefully head-first next time!), I'd gladly choose to put my life and the life of my baby in her hands, with full confidence. Homebirths are SAFE - and more than that, they're FUN!!
(The above article can be found at: http://www.gynob.com/breechvag.htm, called "The Best Way To Deliver A Breech Baby")
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